woobiquity

The Merrier

A fleeting one-act play based on actual, surreal events. Not a musical.

Setting: Selfridges Department Store on a Saturday afternoon in December.

Characters: Claire, a Selfridges Christmas temp, and Jonathan, a bewildered shopper.

People, some angry, some joyous, some chewing gum, mill around in tight rows of Japanese household products, suffocating in the general absence of natural air and light. Incandescent families rage in the walkways, unsure how far they are from Santa’s grotto. Claire stands behind a pulpit-shaped till, looking blankly around the shop floor. Jonathan stands near her, also looking blankly around the shop floor. Their eyes meet.

 

Claire: Hello.

Jonathan: Hi.

Claire: Are you enjoying your Christmas shopping today?

Jonathan: Oh, well, yes, I mean I’m enjoying it more now that I’m in this fairly quiet corner.

Claire (looks at shopping bags): It looks like you’ve done quite well.

Jonathan: Oh, well, I’ve done ok, yes, though it’s mainly stuff for myself. I haven't quite got the hang of this Christmas shopping thing.

Claire:  What have you bought?

Jonathan: Oh, you know, a few things for the house, some stationery…

Claire: Do you have any loved ones?

Jonathan: I don’t know. How do you define ‘loved ones’?

Claire: You know, people you love.

Jonathan: Oh, well, yes, I’ve got one or two of those.

Claire: And would you like to give them the Gift of Self-Indulgence this Christmas?

Jonathan: The Gift of Self-Indulgence… What is that exactly?

Claire: It’s a Selfridges gift card.

Jonathan: Oh, I'm not sure most of my loved ones would quite know what to do with that.

Claire: They wouldn’t?

Jonathan: Er, no. But I could always get one for myself.

Claire and Jonathan look blankly around the shop floor. Jonathan walks away.

Photo: detail from Selfridges Christmas window, December 2008. 

Window shopping

Scooting across Oxford Street last Saturday, I couldn't help noticing that in this age of Financial Meltdowns there seemed to be no shortage of people out on London's busiest shopping street. I also noticed that a good number of them weren't carrying shopping bags.

So I take it I'm not alone in enjoying window shopping almost as much or more than the actual procurement of goods. If you do too, then here's some window shopping that doesn't even require you to leave the comfort of your home -- never mind buying a plane ticket to New York.

Based on this selection, I think my favorite NY department store windows this season are the retro, hand-painted creations at Bloomingdale's, which look like they were made for swing music. Luckily the video footage obliges with a snippet of one of this year's best new Christmas albums. And boy does it swing.